Down

Those days and nights you feel so down that all you want to do is crawl in a corner and just cry your whole night away. I...I don't know why I'm so down right now. I've only felt this down twice that I can remember.....once was because I was alone, I felt completely and utterly alone. I didn't have anyone to text to help me feel better..no one was home all day to help distract me from feeling like that. Then the other time...was when I thought I had lost everything.. Cause when I still had this something, I felt like even if I lost everything else, I'd be alright cause I'd still have that thing. But then one day I lost it and.. I almost felt like I was dying.. like I was suffocating. And the first time when I was alone, I could kind of use that something but it wasn't responding. Too busy. And now.. something else is preventing me from using that thing at all..When it's probably the one thing that could help me. That has always been able to help me..no matter what it was... I dont know what to do. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every time I feel down so I dont want to sleep... but its the only thing that seems to help until morning... when I put all my feelings away because then I'd be letting other people see how I really am...and I can't let them in. I...don't want to let anyone else in. It hurts too much when they let you down...sorry for being such a downer. I guess I'll try to sleep.. maybe I'll stop crying soon.....