Somethings wrong...

I don't know what to feel like.... I need somewhere to vent but I have nothing. I don't have my journal anymore, I gave it away.. I need something. I cant hold all of this in. Maybe I just need to cry myself to sleep again. Might help... until I wake up....then what? If I keep going to school, I think I'll fail. I just don't feel like trying anymore. If I don't go, I still fail. If I drop out next year, society see's me as a failure anyways. Society... there's so many things wrong with it. I feel like I need someone..but.. I don't know. Somethings I don't even want to tell myself. I don't know what those things are but.. I just know there is. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and have a totally different life. But.. then I wonder what about the people I've met.. what if I didn't meet them. But there's really only person I'm not worried if I met now or not...cause I know I would have met him sometime in my life anyways....We were meant to meet, to be together..... I feel alone now though. If I was in a room of a million people Id feel so alone. No one gets how I truly think about things...how I feel about things. And the one person who might have a chance of truly understanding me.. isn't here. Recently, I feel like he doesn't even exists.. he's "there" when I need him.. hes not here.... and I need him. Right now. To cry on his shoulder... to know Im not as alone as I really feel right now. Its so pointless in telling him because...its not gonna change anything. He's still gonna be there..... with his #2..... So why should I tell him anymore how much I need him. Why should I tell him anymore how much I love him... It doesnt change anything... I feel like it doesnt matter all that much to him whether he hears those things from me or not... Whether he hears from me at all..... if he doesnt talk to me in a day..a week...a month...any at all... it doesnt matter to him. Yeah he says it does..but I just dont think I believe it much anymore. I still love him more than anything... id still die for him...the only person/people Id put before him would be my children..our children. But in a way i would still be him...little him's.. I still believe we will be together.. Thats what keeps me through times like this. When I feel this alone. When I need someone to just...be here. For someone to just let me know they are not gonna leave my side. But I cant have that now can I? When I need it the most... Why should I get something like that? Something that special.....why should a very non-special person (me) get that? Im crazy for thinking something like that. Somethings wrong..... with me. 

~Whitney~

Agreed..

Bored..

Well I just finished a super easy take home civics test. And yeah...well nothing else to write...sooo yeahh Bye!!

Sergio..

Me llamo Whitney(:

¡Buenas Noches! Estoy enamorada contigo Sergio<3 Te extraño mucho. Hoy es el veintitres de octubre. Hoy es martes.

Well anyways..I wrote in Spanish :O Im so proud of myself(: Well tomorrow I have to take a 4 hour PLAN test...great.. :( I will prolly fall asleep like a normally do during the reading part of it. Its like I cant ever stay awake no matter how much sleep I get. Bleh d: I hope I get to talk to mi amor tonight. I miss him so much. Im thirsty. I also think I have a Spanish exam Thursday..and a math test tomorrow -_- Gah.. I dont really like school anymore. I wanna be a bar tender  and for that you only have to go to a 2 week class and ta da! Your a qualified bar tender...I think it would be fun(: Hmm..maybe eventually I could get all fancyful with throwing the bottles around and all that..well anyways..Im not sure about my future education..I dont know what I want anymore...well i take that back. There are a few things I know I want. I know I want to be with the love of my life, get married, have kids, and be succesful with a fun filled life :D Im sleepy...and hungry...and thirsty...im just full of problems today arn't I...bleh...well I have Algebra 2 homework..bleh d: Well im gonna go now so write later.. Byers!

Sergio...

Baby just know I need you so badly right now, more than I think you will ever get...

Alohi!

Well sorry I havent posted in a long time..um...nothing really all that new... umm.....yeahh....I dont have school friday..umm...and i get out early next Thursday. Annnd yeahh....Well this pic that I posted is how I feel about Sergio..I Love You Baby<3

Alohi Person(s)!!

Okay well today is Saturday (:  
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? (Get it? Get it?) 
Lol anyways, I'm really bored. Hey! Something I don't like that teachers do. When we are writing papers they say "Don't type them how you would text!" I actually dont think anyone does that at school...I know I dont. Heck only thing on here that I put is lol and idk. I think thats all...oh and I dont always capitalize my "I's". Soo yeahh...well im not sure what got me thinking about that. And now Im tired of typing. Bleh d:
So byers!!!!

~Whitney N. Gonzalez~

Ughh -_-

Well I didnt go to school yesterday either and now I have soo much Algebra 2 stuff to make up d: I still have to make up an Algebra 2 Test and a Spanish Test as well..bleh d: I think I may go early in the morning and start doing the Algebra 2 Test then stay after for the Spanish test. Also have a quiz in my 3rd period class to make up annnd soo yeah...tonight I have a bunch of Algebra 2 stuff to do.. I got a workbook from the class then went to my Geometry teacher from last year and got a calculator from him cause my Algebra 2 teacher wouldnt let us take them home. Soo yeahh...I have like 3 1/2 pages to do. I so do not like Math...at all!!! Next semester I think will be about the same hardness...I have English 1 Honors and also Biology Honors..I hope it goes well..Im going to switch from personal finance to Spanish 2 annnd also Foods 1 with something else. Not sure what though. Dont want another math..maybe I could do another History or something. Im not sure yet. Well I still have more than half a semester left to decide. 
Well anyways...Im goin to the beach on October 19-21. The 19th is Sergio's B-Day :/ :D The :/ was cause im goin to the beach and i dont think im gonna be able to talk to him..but the :D was cause it is his 18th B-Day. So yeah. Him and I are going to celebrate on the 18th instead cause I get outta school early and yeah(: I hope I get at least a minute to actually tell him Happy Birthday on his Birthday. Things like that matter to me. Yeah I know im wierd..oh well! (^-^) Anyways..I guess im gonna go do my Algebra 2 stuff now..I Love  You Sergio<3 Mwah! Byers!!

~Whitney N. Gonzalez~

Bleh d:

Well I didnt go to school yesterday so I had a LOT of catching up today d: Missed my break and lunch :( Well so now I am about to do Algebra 2 stuff d: Im tired though. Hey! If anyone who reads this is in NC annnd knows anything about how HomeSchooling/ Independent Study works, let me know! Cause I am really thinking about doing it. Cause when i was out yesterday, i realized that I didnt really miss anything but a few friends, which is okay cause i can text them or hang out with them other times. Soo yeah, if you have any info let me know thanks. Well thats really all for now so byers!!!

~Whitney N. Gonzalez~

Yay(:

Okay well I finally got my laptop to work then once i did that, it wouldnt connect to wifi here at my moms soo then i fixed that too..soo yay^_^ Anyways, Im taking a break from doing my civics notecard. I missed school today cause...i just didnt wanna go. Its been a good day though(: I got to talk to Sergio a lot <3 Yay, he makes me the happiest[: Mwah!!!! That was for you my Sergi<3 Im in love with you! 
Well I have school tomorrow and yeahh...well I suppose Im gonna get back to my civics note card...byers (^_^)

~Whitney N. Gonzalez~

Happy Birthday^_^

Well today is my grandmas birthday..either 50 or 51 I think...anyways...I love you Sergio<3 Thank you for the AMAZINGNESS of the birthday present you sent me[[: I promise to take the best of care of Jr!! MWWAAAHHHH!!! Well Sergio I love you...the pic with this post is of my nails^_^ like them? The other hand is like that just switch the blue and green..well that's all for now..Byers!!!

Grrr...

Okay sorry I haven't posted in a while..cause guess what. A WEEK after I get my laptop, it stops charging...well the good thing is that I have wi-go back at my house so at least I can go on my iPod now(: Well yeah...my uncle is gettin married on the 29th of September and I am gonna be a bridesmaid. I hope I get to wear the dress again for something else, idk what though. Anyways...I'm sleepy. Prolly be goin to bed soon. So yeah...Happy 8 months Sergio<3 I Love You. Goodnight<3

Bleh!

Okay well I tried postin a entry thro my iPod but it said I wasn't connected.. but just want to get in HAPPY 8 MONTHS SERGIO!!!! Okay...ill post that other one later!

This reminded me so much of myself. But thanks to Sergio I am really working on telling him how I feel...

Forgot...

Oh yeah! I forgot to say I am takin Spanish and i now know the Spanish alphebet, most number to 100, and a couple phrases and quetions, and i can tell time, the day, and the date..Makes me feel accomplished!! Anyways..goin to bed now...night^^

Hey bloggers!

Okay so not really a whole lot to say but felt like i should post. Well today i woke up early and oh yeah! i was asleep BY 9:45 but layed down at like 9:33pm. Can you belive that??? Thats crazy for me! I was really tired though on Thursday and Friday. Ummmm......Anyways, i went to clean my church, like usual. My uncle and his fiance are getting married next month and Im gonna be a bridesmaid. Her maid of honor dress is really pretty. If i remember ill try to take a pic and post it on here of my dress when i get it. Hopefully i dont have to wear heels, that would suck :/ Today i was helping my grandmother with their invitations. All this wedding stuff has really gotten me imaginging my own wedding. I wonder what its gonna be like..hmm...wish I could see into the future, i dont wanna change anything, just wanna see it. See whos in it, see the things thats gonna happen to my life, see if things go to how I hope they do or even completely opposite. Hmm...makes you think. Well I havent heard from Sergio in a few hours:/ I hope he is okay and that his phone is just dead d: I Love Him. More than i believe he will ever really know..yeah yeah yeah you people can say all you want "oh your not in love. your only 15, you dont even know what real love is" but i know it is. I know that i cant spend the rest of my life without him and thatd id give my own life for his. Crazy right? Wrong. Its an indestuctable love. You wanna know how I know it is? Cause (without going into details) I have hurt him in the past, and he didnt let me go. and I will be eternally greatful for that. Always..Gosh do I love him. "Shes in love with the boy" I like that song, its country(^-^) Well thats really all I have to say. So I am gonna text Sergio a few more times then im gonna be off to bed. Goodnight random bloggers who read this (:

~The Future Mrs. Whitney Gonzalez~

Yayyyy[[:

Okay,
So yesterday was my birthday(:
Guess what I got!!!
A laptop with a camera! Sooo now I can post random YouTube videos and yeahh....yayy(: I'm all happyful!! Im in one of my classes and ive been done with a project for a while..we are using the mini laptops that i hate. I have lunch in like 12 minutes...something like that d: I still love you Sergio<3 <3 Well i am about to lunch...post more later if I remember! Byers!!!!!

~Whitney Gonzalez~

Hi there[:

Alohi(^-^)
Well I started my sophmore year[: Its pretty good so far, I have Algebra 2 first (I've had math first thing in the morning for 3 year straight -_-) umm...I have civics&economics honors 2nd and for 3rd I have Biotechnology and Agriscience Reserch then for 4th I have Spanish 1...I know my spanish alphebet((: annnnnd...once I learn all the numbers ill be able to completly tell time[: that makes me happy^-^ speaking of me being happy...Sergio is still making me the happiest<3 and he makes me feel loved even wih him being sooo far away<3<3 that means a lot to me..I am madly and deeply in love with him! Umm....first varsity football game is tomorrow! I think it'll be fun^-^ urrrmmmm.....yeahhh....oh yeah! My b-day is Monday! Yay!! Happy 15th to me((: Ummm.....my cousins b-day is today so happy b-day to her too!!!! Well....yay I just got to talk to my love<3<3 Now I'm really happy!! Mwah to you Sergio!! Well that's all for now...I shall write more laters! Byers everyone/anyone who actually reads this!!!

Umm....

Okay so I know its been a whil sincei actually posted stuff but really nothing has happened...I started Tennis and I am a fail at it d: ummmm.........I'm still deeply in love Sergio<3 I started writing in my old journal/diary...it was so weird reading some of the past stuff I have writin..maybe if there's one that's not too personal ill post it on here if I get bored enough one day. Sooo yeah..umm....there's not really anything else to say..my birthday is coming up soon..I'm hopefully gonna get a new phone towards the end of this month and soo yeah...well I have been sick and so yeah..that's all now soo byers.