Ugh..

Great.. I feel like I keep getting blown off by the two guys I like -.- I like one more than the other as I said on here but yeah. Still. My point is that they bother me -.- Ugh.. gosh.. Idk what to do d: Ya know, giving someone this website is a way of showing them I trust them. This has some of my deepest thoughts on it. Things I couldn't ever admit to someone in person, or even really through text. Drives me insane sometimes. It's just who I am. I think about sooo many things then I won't say not a single thing that comes to mind. But when someone actually asks me what I'm thinking, my mind goes blank. I don't understand. I don't get myself. I just... don't know who I am. I know who I WANT to be... kind of... but I don't know how to get there. Right now, I am one of those people that has to be told what's wrong with me and things I do wrong so I can fix it. I can't handle compliments. It just... no. Compliments to me, are bad. I can comfort and give compliments all day long through texts, but I dont even know where to begin when it comes to helping someone in person or where they can hear my voice. See, take this thing I just wrote.. see how it changed topics so easily? I started off with talking about guys to comforting people in person/where they can hear me. It just... I don't know. I don't think everyone is like this. I just.. don't get it... Things don't make sense to me. Im always that one person different... either im the ONLY one that doesn't get it or im the ONLY one that does. Like.. it just.. doesn't connect with me. I need something.. anything.. to keep my mind straight. They just..don't work. Oh well.......