Personal..

Okay, the reason I get so personal on here is because Im not all that worried about someone from like school or something like that finding it dX Only people I would ever really give this web adress to is people I can trust.. well... thought I could trust. And for anyone out there who has read this and cant figure out the whole complete story on why Sergio and I are no longer together, I havent posted it because its not just about me, it concerns him as well so Im not going to write about what completely happened >.< 
So yeah... well.. right now I am feeling really alone though... I really feel like crying to someone but I promised myself not to shed any more tears over you, I really want to get over you...I really do.. It's just going to take me a little while. I wish I could just get it over with and not feel an ounce of sadness when I think about you. *sigh* I wanna go somewhere.. and when I say go somewhere, I mean travel like really far away. Either to a different state or to another country or something! Really anywhere but here... that way I cant look around my room and see things that remind me of you. Like how that one time we were talking about how I clean somethings more than others and how somethings have to be a certain way, like the perfumes and lotions on my dresser. Or like how I havent turned my stereo on since we broke up cause its still on a country station cause you didnt like how I listened to the songs that were sooo dumb and that everyone else knew. Or looking in my dresser mirror cause thats what I did sometimes cause I kept looking at myself smile while talking to you and I was thinking about how I couldnt wait to take pictures with you looking in a mirror.. gosh..anyways...I hate that I have to stop and hold back the tears cause I will not cry over you! You no longer have that much power over me. We. Are. Done.........As much as i miss you and even though I want you back more than anything............I wont take you back. Does that make sense? I would kill to have you back but at the same time I dont want you back. Well...I think its that I want you back, just dont want to go through all of that again. I had plans to come be with you, to take my money for a trip with school and run away to be with you. I was going to do it, for you. I was going to drop out and give up everything..for you. You changed the world how I saw it... I see it way different now. Dont trust anyone no matter how much it seems like you can. Thanks to you, I dont think I could really fall for someone like I fell for you. Cause...I fell for you and didnt have a clue what you looked like. I didnt see a picture of you until about a week or so after we started going out. Thats how I knew I was falling for the real you. Well...at least the things you told me.. and I believe you told me the truth. Gosh...anyways... thats all Im gonna write for now. I might write more later, probably not though. I guess since I only have a little more than 30 mins until the ball drops for 2013 Ill stay up and watch it. Well goodnight everyone, and Happy New Years Eve.....have a great one.....

~Whitney~

P.S~ ..............