I Just Don't Know..

I dont understand myself. Not really ever. I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I can't help who I like.. I don't want to like him. I'm starting to think the only reason I like him is cause...of the whole stupid first kiss thing. And each one after that.... I hate that. I mean.. the first one didnt seem that special but ever since then... my liking of him just seems to keep growing. Idk if I really like him or if I'm just attached to him because of the kissing. Idk.... Then the guy I'd rather be with out of anyone.. doesn't see what he does to me every time we talk or how much it hurts when we can't.........But I guess it's whatever. Why should life go in my favor when it comes to love? I mean.. its true. I am absolutely nothing special. At all. I'm not even ordinary. I'm below ordinary. I could just... leave and no one would miss me. I'm just feeling really alone tonight..

Oh and what brought up all of this is cause I went to Bryan's house today. See my mom isnt here for like 2 weeks so I figured I would just kinda.. sneak away for a while. So I went over and.. for a long time I kept saying no when he tried to kiss me but.. Idk why I eventually gave in. See when it's actually happening, I keep asking and thinking "Why would I say no to this?" But then later when I get home.. I regret it because I wish things could be more with him but he doesn't want more. At least not with me.


So yeah. That's my story. Liking people either for reasons I can't understand or that I can't have them. Oh well I guess. Like I said.. why should love go my way. I know it definitely hasn't in the past... but like I said, its oh well.........

More of.. The One, The Other, and Another.

You are The One.

I am The Other.

Anyone you talk to is Another.

The Other wishes The One could see how much The Other is falling for The One. The One is blind and only seeks Another that's close by for The One needs it to be physical. The One doesn't realize how worth it, it would be to take a chance with The Other. The Other couldn't ever cause hurt to The One for The Other would be hurt as well for causing that pain to The One. Although The Other has decided for only physical as well, The Other would take a final chance on The One. The Other now realizes just how deep The Other's feelings are for The One. The Other believes that The One doesn't have any kind of the same feelings. This is part of the sadness The Other feels. And yet no matter how badly and how deep depression The Other feels....The Other couldn't bare to let The One go. The Other needs The One to function, to help with decisions, and for advice. Well...maybe one day.....

Things I Want....

• To cuddle with him when watching movies (or anytime).
• For him to give me a ring that's too big so I can wear it on a necklace.
• To be pulled by my belt loops into his arms.
• For him to show up unexpectedly at my door.
• To lay around with him all day just talking.
• For him to be there when im feeling down.
• To hold hands while walking around the mall.
• For him to sing to me.
• To go out to the movies.
• For him to listen to whatever I have to say.
• To be asked on dates even after we are together.
• For him to be there for me.
• To be my absolute self around him.
• For him to accept my many flaws.

• For him to exist........

Been A While xO

Well....My color guard camp went good(: Im really liking it ^.^ I went out with that guy that was still into his ex but then I broke up with him (Donald). I seen Bryan at the fireworks thingy and talked to him for a few minutes dx It was like pouring down rain d: I was really happy when talking to him... Idk why I still like him as much as I do d: Oh well I guess. Umm... thats reallly all I have to write about I guess. The Lone Ranger was a good movie. Umm.... I dont really have anything else to talk about d: So yeah... I hope everyone had a great 4th of July.


I think I was holding on to just one that one little promise made exactly a year ago on the 4th. About promising to try the hardest to be here to watch fireworks. Even tho I knew for a fact that it wasnt gonna happen, I think my heart was still holding on to that. But oh well now. It doesnt matter at all anymore.

Oh gosh d:

Oh gosh d: Im really sorry for not posting.. I didnt realize how long its been since I posted. Well... new things...

• My color guard practices are going good. Every Tuesday 4-6 then next week, Mon-Sat. I have it 10-6 everyday ( -.-) Then later on I have Band Camp and also Rookie camp.. I also have a fundraising car wash on July 6th at a McDonalds ^.^
• Um..Was talking to this guy but hes more into his ex (that he hung out with today) than me even though he keeps saying over and over that he wants me to be his girlfriend o.O Soo yeah.. nothings gonna happen with that. 
• Bryan wanted me to go to his birthday party thing but then he didnt ever text me or call me so I didnt go d: 
• Ummm.....I put purple dye in my hair but I dont think you can really see it d: Maybe after I straighten it again d: 
• I might be having a birthday party on the 17th of August..
• I am sooo ready for next year to start! I just want to know my schedule d:

So thats really all I have to say d: If I think of something else or if I get my hair done, I might post a bideo on here later d:

Lucky...

The Truth..

Sorry

Hola everyone...I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything and sorry about that. I really don't post much in the Summer.. you would think I would since I dont have anything else to but nope, just the opposite. Weelll... Somethings I am planning on doing this Summer:

• Getting a job.
• Color Guard Practices.
• Guard Camp
• Rookie Camp
• Band Camp
• Going to Carowinds as much as possible (I have a season pass)

So yeah, hopefully a random beach trip will come up between now and when school starts but yeeahh... I'm excited for next year(: My art teacher from the middle school (I loved her!!!) Is gonna be there to teach the classes. I hope we still do the pottery and the hula hoop dream catcher thing.. it looks so cool!! Cant wait
^.^ Then I am doing band for color guard.. then Im gonna be in Spanish 3 and 4 ^_^ Those look coolios :D Ummm....Im gonna have Pre-Calculus -_- I dont like math and stupid me decided to take the hardest one.. I really hope I dont have my Algebra 2 teacher again d: Cause I hate him as a teacher d: Annd... yeah... everything seems fun :D Well.. im gonna go(: Hope everyone has an amazing... WAIT!!!! I made a 97 on my Biology exam and the final grade was a 93 (Which is an A when I was making a C like 4 weeks before that) then I made a 96 on my English 2 exam and made my grade go to a 94 :D Sooo yaaaaaaayyyyy(: Well I guess thats all now(: Hope everyone has an amazing Summer ^.^ Byers :D

Summer[:

Weelll.... I'm finally out for school :D Yaayy(: Soo excited! My goal this summer is to find a job and save up for a car[: Bad thing.. there arn't really any places around here that will hire a 15 year old ~.~ I sooo don't want to spend my time here all Summer.. not. at. all.....

...

Confused..

You say you want a girl...
You say you want something to last a long time...
You say you want love...

When I've been here the whole time offering you everything you want(except the closeness), and yet I'm not good enough...
Even though you say I deserve better than what I've had so far, and you're about as good as they get...

So why not..? What are you so scared of...?


Im confused....

Summer..

Hey you guys! Sorry I haven't really posted on here in a while..been kind of busy with school coming to a close. Finishing last minute work and studying for exams d: I just wanted to write a quick something.. Well.. I'm on good terms with my ex and his gf now ^.^ So thats good ^_^ I'm gonna have a pretty busy Summer.. and also something else... I think I'm kinda starting to like this guy I've known since like.. 8th grade ^.^ We've just started talking a lot more lately and we actually have a lot more in common than I thought. Hm.. maybe it will lead to somewhere good :D I sure hope so[: Guess we'll see ^.^ Weeelll... I have an exam tomorrow then Tuesday and I am done for the year. Ill officially be a junior but the age of most freshman -.- Gosh...Im a young thang as my friend said XD Well.. I guess thats really all for now. So yeah, Ill try to write more... OH YEAH!!! I made a 65 on my AutoTech exam!! But only 5 people passed so it's alright I suppose. Well goodnight everyone ^.^

Bideo 7..

Hey everyone :D Well I just put up a bideo on YouTube but for some reason it isnt letting me upload here d: So yeah d: Just go to this website to watch it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOk76PPvfzk&list=HL1368756974&feature=mh_lolz

Promise

Wouldn't it be something if you actually kept your promise? I mean.. afterall... it would be just a visit.....


By July 4th, remember?

...

This would be the one of the best rings I have ever seen <3

Myself..

Well...I'm in my AutoTech class... I just retook a final thingy and failed it again ~.~ Anyways, Im ready to go home. Im tired d: Im also starting to kinda feel how I used too.. I havent really felt like myself lately... Well hey I have to go now, I shall try to write more later d

Natural Hair :O

Okay.. so this is what my absolute natural hair looks like. All I did was wash it and got out of the shower, didnt brush it or add anything to it.... its very scary....

Think we're related? XD

05/02/13

Dear WBFFLA,
    Hey there hottie[: How are you? I hope you're great(: You deserve to always be happy(: And I know sometimes it seems like it's gonna take forever to be happy, but trust me, you will be (^.^) Hot stuff... I think something's wrong...I got hit in the head yesterday with a flag and since then, I've had a headache (keeps going to kinda hurting to really bad) and also I feel like my vision is kinda blurry d: Idk..maybe it's just all in my head d: Anyways, I'm sleepy d: I have 2 presentations today and then more color gaurd workouts d: I can't get the latteral or windmills :/ Like...you start behind your back, then you bring it in front of you really fast, then when you go above you, thats when you release it. Thats how I hit my head :/ I don't feel good today d: ANYWAYS... sorry for going into details like that. Idk... I just feel weird right now d:

**Went to 2nd period**

Hi again hottie! Sorry for just stopping like that. People were presenting something they did and we had to take notes. We didn't get to go today so I'm presenting tomorrow d: I don't wanna present, it's for auto-tech and he likes to ask a lot of questions (teacher). Well... hottie I guess I'm gonna go d: If I don't post this tonight, I shall tomorrow (along with your other letter) so yeah(: Well make sure to keep smiling to make my day[: Bye hottie(:

~Whitney~

04/23/13

Dear Jamesiie,
     Just wanted to write you a quick letter. Thank you for everything. You have no idea on how much you help. So thanks Jamesiie[: WBFFLA(: hehehe :D I honestly have no idea on what to write about. I'm in Biology d: We are learning about an animal behavior d: I'm bored. I'm glad that I only have to go to school today, then tomorrow (Wednesday) through Friday I'm gonna be going to my Skills Competition(: I haven't studied any d: I should have been but oh well. Hopefully I'll do good. Well hottie I have to go. Bye cutie d:

~Whitney~

P.S~ You're a hottie(:

The One and The Other cont..

But what does it matter now? The one doesn't see what the other wants. The other now feels as if it needs the one to go through the day. The one is getting another that isn't the other. The other can tell the one is already affected by another. Telling the one not to worry and the one really doesn't care or ask like normal. Normally the one wouldn't ever drop it or let the other change topics so easily....the one is slowly going away. Faster than most. So much faster than the other would want.. well.. the other would not ever want something that awful to happen. The one is only leaving at least until another leaves or gets left. Then the one will fall back on the other for help. Normally, the other would abandon someone who does the other wrong like that, only needing the other when they seem to want something.... but not the one. The other couldn't ever hurt the one like that, even if the other wanted too.... The other couldn't stand to cause such pain and hurt to the one. It would also cause the other hurt as well.. The one means too much to the other to hurt the one like that. Means way too much... The other likes the one too much... Maybe the other should really try to stop being friends with the one.. make things so much better for the both of them. The two that would be so perfect for each other, they would question whether they were two separate people at all or just one whole being.....